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I know very well what you mean about destroying oneself to build something new. I think people often romanticise self-improvement as reading books and going to the gym, but its so much more about a war within; and as wars are, there will be destruction.

i agree and i also thing at some point you have to realize you are both sides of the war. sun tzu implied there is nothing to win in war, just a reduction of what we can lose. i think we fear our darkness to much and deprive what it has to offer

fully agreed. I actually wrote a little about accepting all parts of yourself instead of viewing certain aspects as some implicit enemy; as you said, each part of yourself has its place and its own beauty