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Lovely theme! ...I don't think any of that sounds stupid at all. I can empathize with desperately wanting to feel "pretty" or "cool", and not feeling comfortable with oneself to the point where it stifles your self-expression. When I was younger, I was averse to fashion in general because of the aspects that I thought seemed shallow and consumerist. Then, I realized that...
...It doesn't matter so much what other people are doing with it because I can choose how I personally express it and why. It can be about artistic creativity and finding peace within oneself, instead of following trends or comparing people. Now I get excited about the idea of designing/making clothes...
...What is considered "pretty" and "cool" is completely subjective, so my decisions about it are just as valid as anyone else's and I can embrace them fully...even if it means that I end up being the only one liking them. Lol! You already have a great sense of art and design. Maybe this can be translated into your outfits in a way that makes you feel beautiful?
I really appreciate your thoughtful advice! I'm keeping it in mind as I figure this all out <3