Do I need to watch the source material to read your fan fics?

It helps. At least to get an understanding of the setting, side characters but you can just find a summary of the series and get a general idea. Basically Schools in Japan have girls only tank battles and most schools represents a theme based off a Country in WW2 or history in general. Oarai Girls' Academy is on the verge of being shut down and an underdog team has to compete in these tank tournaments in order to

save their school (an aircraft carrier with an entire city and school on board) from closing down. There's a bunch of spin off manga that's somewhat considered canon to the main anime series that are also worth looking into as they cover other schools or events prior to the anime. Anzio High is supposed to be based off Italy in WW2 and just like irl history, they are kind of a mess compared to other tank teams.

It's a crappy situation to be in. I was the same way in college but you gotta try to break the mold and talk to someone. You'll be suprised on how little someone actually cares that someone is awkward. The most they'll do is talk bad for a bit but go back to focusing on themselves.

If people project, it's because they're insecure. Guys who know the struggle will understand.

when I first came across this post I was going to divulge that sustaining friends or romance is (mostly) unfounded after college; for that light at the end of the tunnel means a parting of ways. for some, maybe not, but often is the case from my observations. but if you're worried of an inability to form connections with others, I understand. connections are difficult when they're arbitrary (or built upon proximity)

Socialising can cost money.

Do you have these dreams when you are close to wake up?

I have them the moment I fall into a deep slumber. That's usually when I am so tired, I kind of feel knocked out and don't wake up as easily. Usually after a dream, I wake up either real early in the morning or far too early like after midnight. It's just my awful sleeping behavior.

The only time I dream is when I have a fucking nightmare, or some weird ass shit, otherwise it is black.

I am an introvert and socializing is tough for me as well, a good memory I have is this: I was working and the boss' son came by, he showed me 3 dice in his hand, 2 white 1 green, he said the green dice was the "lucky dice" and put it in front and asked me to pick one. I picked one of the white ones in back, he laughed and said I was the first person to do that. We had a conversation about magic and slight of hand.

Is this the fanfic? https://archiveofourown.org/works/26937709/chapters/65743036

Yep. That's it.

Agreed that feeling like you owe people is the worst.

"We live in one of the most antisocial times in our lives." ikr. even as an "introvert" it feels weird lol