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yeah lol i had a really similar time with my chem schooling + perfectionism, it's ruthless. but i've wanted to get into art regardless too and seeing your lil crafts is really inspiring n fills me with hope! :3

whoa, so we're both having "do it scared" moments, huh? i'm late to reading this entry of yours but i feel better knowing we're both really pushing ourselves right now. no matter what, no timeline is doomed. as long as youre alive, good things will happen, and youre putting in the effort to make positive changes for yourself. i'm going to keep cheering you on, okay? you can be happy <3 & we all want the best for you

Coming to terms with the fact that you're actually Reacting Normally can be hard to swallow after years of being told you're overreacting. Sadly I think a lot of people will use this technique of downplaying someone's emotions to "calm them down" but it often has the opposite effect. I really love the mareep you've made and the yarn loop thing, she looks like a cloud...

It's great you want to change your living arrangements as soon as you find the means. It's for the best for your wellbeing. You deserve to live better so I'm glad you found a goal to work towards. I've told you before, your words and ideas do have merit and I love your tone of writing. You're never boring to me. Your Marill and Mareep are the cutest ever too I love them ;; ♡

oh my goodness the needle felted pokemon are so cute!!! also, i can totally relate to how you feel about your mother... i hope that you can live freely and happily away from her soon enough. please take care of yourself! even if you don't feel like it, you are very important!

Ahh wow, so the book I recommended ended up being one piece in the puzzle of your difficult situation... I'm so glad that you're going to keep reading it, and start really pushing for a better life, too. Yes, this a new era!!! And I'm so looking forward to what happens next... including your needle felting. Your new wool texture technique is awesome!! Mareep looks so fluffy n soft~

that mareep looks incredible!!

Your Mareep is adorable. You have an artistic gift and felting is super underrated. I'm sorry you grew up in that kind of environment... it's fucked up when we realize look back on those kind of experiences as adults, you know? Nobody should make you feel that way for being a normal human being. You (and everyone else) have inherent worth as human beings, don't forget it!

I'm pretty awful at helping with advice for things, but what you're going through reminds me of my own experiences that I had until my mids 20's. It was so freeing to finally move out, even with how hard it is to afford anything. You seem to be handling everything with such a level head, you don't deserve to be around so many people that make you feel irrational. My heart really does go out to you, genuinely.

Also I think we took shelter from the same tornado lol! I'm also in tornado alley, the sirens went off so I grabbed my cat and we hung out in my tub lol since that's the only safe place we had. It was a little nerve-racking!

i'm so sorry to hear you've had to go thru all that, but i'm always super happy for people when they finally realize that a lot of their problems came from harsh environments instead of themselves!!! it's always difficult to heal but it's always worth it. i hope you can make a safer space for yourself soon!

the spiral/cycle of panic and anxiety you're describing is so painful to deal with... my heart really aches for you. it's not easy, but you can find your way out of it, and even before that i want to tell you that you're valuable just as you are. you dont need to be perfect or even capable to be lovable, or deserving of happiness, hope, relief... just by being born, you already have everything you need.

it sounds like your problems are severe enough to warrant more therapy than the typical "1 session every 1-2 weeks." i know i definitely need to go at least 2-3 times weekly, heh. being shut inside & isolated is no joke! if you're at all interested in self-help, i really like The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi. i didn't get very far in it myself, but what little i read did seriously help me

Thanks for the reassuring words, Flonne. <3 I’ll check out the book you mentioned.