As someone in a similar grade as you, I seemed to develop these types of thoughts, however in a different situation. All I can hope is you get better and remember that you're not alone in thought. Overall, I really love your layout! It feels calming in a way.
thank you so much, i will remember that. i wish the best for you as well ! i like your layout too, yours feels warm and whimsical in a nice way. ^^