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I was afraid to read this but actually felt like I was laughing along...rather than at : D "John turned to Jane. The red-headed ranger shook her head." - this is classic fanfic, and the repetition is not to find a new way to refer to Jane but so that you know from the get-go that Jane is HAWT. I reckon the goal is to have your hand half-way to your crotch before the first paragraph ends.

My first sentence doesn't make sense, I meant 'rather than being laughed at'.

My own literary career peaked in secondary school when the teacher read my alternate Lord of the Flies ending to the class, so never fear, my opinions on writing are pretty toothless ;) I’m obviously reading too PG fanfiction, I need to step it up!

Ha, or not! Beware, what you see you cannot unsee! I grew up with that stuff and accidentally left a stack of printed fanfiction behind when moving out. The thought that my parents might have glanced at it is both hilarious and mortifying.