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you don't "owe" replies, those can come in their own time. your health is absolute #1 priority, always. it's been so tough for you bree, but i can see how hard you're trying and c would be so proud of you. love the paul update pics too!! those yellow flowers are gorgeous ♥

Thanks Arachne, you're so good to me and humoring me with my pic updates 😭 I'm working hard for my friends like you and C, too. Especially him.

🫂

This reminds me once that I saw a wormbrained take (on Tumblr ofc) that people with EDs literally can't or shouldn't talk about it or it'll "influence" others (~minors~ namely)... Like what the fuck, that 1. will push people deeper and 2. like you said, someone who would be "influenced" likely already has tendencies. People need to learn to manage themselves wrt how to handle what *other people* post.

it's crazy bc tumblr used to be huge for EDs. That's where I first found community before the crack down. As for #1, it encourages ppl deeper into private ED community where non-ED ppl can't see. Which is even more detrimental. I've been in those places, they're not good and become mentally unwell echo chambers of ED ppl making each other worse. Recoverers should never be forced to stay in those places.

i'm so glad you're feeling a little calmer now bree!! so cool to see the music equipment and paul with red hair is very cute heheh. i quite like the bird paintings, the teal and purple gives early spring vibes, right after the frost ends. the little hummingbird is my favorite, so cute! congrats on your rudbeckia, i look forward to seeing them bloom.

i feel you on struggling with time management and wishing sleep was optional, but we're only human (or in your case, a rabbit ♥). i look forward to your site developments and your rabbit plates are sooo adorable! by the way, i really love the new testimonials added to your about, they made me smile so wide. i'm imagining the commentary for the screencaps now, heheh ♥

@arachne wahh, thank you for liking my birdies. it means so much coming from you! thanks for reading my little silly posts and the kind words. I always love hearing from you. My about page was a stealth update. I'm so happy you happened to notice. I'm excited to be writing more pages when I manage my time better. If I commentated the screencaps, let's just say I will hit the Discord character limit lmao

I never really had "the courage" to post about it but r/raisedbynarcissists really made me feel less crazy about having controlling family members like that.

Yep, discovering subreddits late last year changed me. I finally see words that make sense and it helped me pick up on things that I'm not causing that I thought was me. Plus tons of resources about it helped give me terms and ideas I didn't know before. It doesn't fix life, but it helps make life make 10% more sense.

I have to read slowly and digest what you write in your journals because it feels disrespectfully to your thoughts and feelings you put into your work otherwise, Bree <3 I messaged you privately

I'm glad to be your funny inspiration!!

Hehe, thank you for being so amusing ♡

Ive been reading bits of your bessesen over the past 2 days and just made it to the end... I accept your words!! And I hope you'll accept them too. Honestly the very end was my favourite part, I'm so curious about that woman. I suspect she will only get weirder, unfortunately, and I think your theory about her isolation + obsessive attachment makes sense. Keep us posted... not just to that, but to everything!!

Thank you for reading all that omg. I will try to keep posting even if it makes me nervous to be so vulnerable. I'm trying to accept, but it's not going well on my end. Yeah, she makes me concerned with her shipping delusions. I don't want to draw attention as I don't want her bullied or escalated, you know? I'm more akin to a concerned sister and frustrated a bit by the things she says than anything else

PEACH IS TOO CUTE!!!!! OMG aaaa please feed her some more herbs for me... Happy to see the infamous white ribbon too. I will give your intro to R+ playlists a try! Even if it's not for me, I wanna know as much as I can about what gets you so excited.

Peach is the cutest love of my life (◡‿◡✿) omg if you use my playlist, pls keep your volume low if you've never heard metal in this genre type before. Thank you for trying out something new and strange. That's really sweet of you to do ♡

"Nobody notices this useless stuff, it's just me," and that's why rammstein fandom needs you. Why the WORLD needs you, if that's not too dramatic.. you talked about smashing stereotypes around female fans of bands, and i think you're already doing it. I've never seen anything like your writing before & it fascinates me. My free time is definitely not wasted on you. Keep going!!! You and your work are valuable ♡

Thank you deeply for your kindness! It means so much to hear, truly. Your writing inspired me many months ago and your passionate affection for Sans is very meaningful to me. It shaped how I tried to start writing and be less afraid to care, but in another way. It feels like we came full circle and it's perfect ♡ I'm honored to have met you Flonne. You are valuable too.

WHAAT omg?! full circle indeed!!! i feel fortunate to have met you too, and to be a part of a cycle without even realising it! let's keep it up then... we'll both nurture our creative, courageous spirits one day at a time

Something about your writing style is so appealing, I felt like I had to read as much of your diary as I could... that includes the Paul posting. Idk how else to say this but your brain is massive, your ideas are interesting and your takes scalding hot. I'm not sure why you think your words are "clumsy" but, even if they are, you have so much to share that it's worth the extra effort to parse. However you end up

organising your site, please keep writing. Please give us more glimpses of your personality and humanity. You were brave to share it today and honestly it's really inspiring me. I also want to say what I feel without holding back, no matter if it's niche or obsessive or polarising. Maybe it won't mean much coming from me, but I like your Unique Bree Weirdness. Your musicality OCD. Your sense of humour. Your views on

sex & feminism & fandom, all with Rammstein as a vehicle for exploration and analysis. No, it's not video games or anime, so yeah maybe you stand out in these circles, but its yours, and You are worth knowing. Thank you for letting me learn a bit more about you today. To end this huge comment... the index link to entry 11 actually leads to 10! And your rose bush is gorgeous. You did great with the trimming <3

accidentally killed a couple of hours with your links page, that was fun! i love your writing, your paintings, and those flowers are gorgeous! i hope you're enjoying them. very cool to see another rammstein fan too ♥

@vivarism You have no idea how much your words mean to me. I've been told before something is intriguing in my writing style but nobody can put a word to it. I invented clumsy for it because I overthink my sentences that typing them feels awkward. I was 1000% terrified to Paul post but I promised myself it can't be that bad. That I needed to be more brave and it'll be ok. I'm honored anything I said had an impact.

on your own inspiration to write, Flonne. I find your own writing to be very charming so it means a lot. I'll try my best to show my personality more this way as it may be the only way I can. Thank you for your deep kindness today to have spent the time to read my words. I wish I could send you a bouquet of my roses ♡

@strawberry I'm so glad my links could be of time consuming interest to you, Arachne ♡ Thank you for reading my posts to have found my paintings ;; I love my garden very much, it's a small but pleasant activity and worth it