this might be completely off topic, but the way that chinese culture has been made "cool" has also evoked similar feelings of shame around my chinese heritage. i think it's the fact that the way i am perceived can be flipped so easily and drastically by individuals who do not even belong to said culture. i am suddenly aware of how i am a malleable object at the hands of emboldened individuals.

@notefromearth i agree, and thank you so much for sharing! it's really such a complex feeling to carry, and i'm glad i'm not alone in it.