the problem isn't you. the problem is capitalism. No one likes to think about it, but capitalism NEEDS poverty to function. If everyone was financially secure, we would demand for true equality, better working conditions and no one would be forced to work jobs that break their bodies and spirits.

Reading the communist manifesto and marxist theory in general answered so many of the questions and frustrations I had

Thanks a ton for reading and for your reply :_ I read The Communist Manifesto back in the day and all it did was radicalize me and make me angrier lol. I'm worried because a lot of my depression issues, from what I've talked about with my therapist, seem to be systemic at this point: I'm doing everything I can, but capitalism doesn't help.

I feel like no matter how hard I try to be the best version of myself, no matter how hard I try to live in the present and enjoy the little things in life, those little things are exactly what capitalism takes away. Right now I'm depressed because I have all the time in the world to do everything I love, but I can't be happy because I don't have the money to live.

And I really agree with what you're saying: this system needs us to be economically unequal, because otherwise we'd have the peace of mind to realize that it's a broken system. That's why it needs people from the bottom to rise every now and then, to brainwash everyone into believing that "hard work pays off."

I read state and revolution recently and it's crazy how relevant it is today. You're not alone, I feel the same way you do too, we are in this together