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I hate everything about what this project has done to me. I despise every single mistake I made in the process and I hate how desperate I sound when I try to get people to care about it. I feel like I have failed, despite achieving my goal, which was making something in the first place. It's hard not to be extremely envious and bitter about those who put in far less effort than I did and their success. --->
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It's hard not to despise the people who actively hurt and take advantage of their fans, yet still retain the respect and admiration of so many. I am creating something that everyone in my community SAYS they want, in concept, but when confronted with it, no one looks further than a passing glance. I talk to myself through alternate accounts in trying to build a mythos and play characters, and it's humiliating.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. My mind and body refuse to allow me to give up however, I am just too damn stubborn and too obsessed with living in this world I've created. So I endure the obscurity because I can't stop. I hate this.