Your violin teacher sounds like a great person who gave you a solid foundation! Is the 'meowing' like an unwanted portamento effect? And, I related so much to everything you wrote about recording your own performance. I have had the exact same thoughts as you, even with me as the one recording someone else. But I’ve since learned that great musicians perform the same whether there’s a camera in their face or not,

…and I’ve been amazed by that. My impostor syndrome would be happier if I had no record of me playing ever, but I guess having the documentation outweighs everything else, especially with something like a live performance that never happens twice. Plus I can just delete the footage if it’s really rubbish. I hope you get another chance!

Thank you! yes it is unwanted portamento :)