My website hasn't been updated in a while as a group of Jovians came to my house one night. For those unaware, Jovians are aliens that inhabit the planet Jupiter. They had me abducted for two days and I learned some insane information from them, information that, for my own safety, I am literally unable to share to you. But if you were to learn this information, you would all completely change your outlook on life.
This was unlike my time when the Plutonians came. They made me so angry that I accidentally caused the extinction of their entire species. Single handedly. That's actually why the Jovians beamed me to their ships. They wanted me to converse with the Europan-Ganymedian High Counsil about my disgusting behavior. I am so sorry.