Neocities.org

:) thank you! and yeah I see the similarity, that style is so pretty <3 your ouch theme though 👌🏻, a masterpiece

I appreciate you mentioning me in your diary! I am in a similar mindspace (headspace + mindset?) as you. I’ve really been trying to find quiet & have been really selective with what I watch / listen to. I’ve also rejected the concept of background noise: If I put something on, then I am going to pay attention to it. I realized a while ago, beyond my “stripping away of listening to music,” that I’ve been seeking

distraction, or just anti-boredom, but it’s good to be bored. Once you get out & start looking at it from the outside, you wonder how you were able to live like that, with constant noise. In I guess a straightforward or simple way, my mood has been better & while I have trouble with being overstimulated, it hasn’t been as bad as it used to.

I think my tolerance of external noises, as in noise that I have not chosen like music, has built itself up, which is strange, because the whole world seems like a much fuller, louder place. In regards to music specifically, it’s given me a deeper appreciation for it. I’ve been cutting away & getting rid of a lot of things in my life these past few months, but music has by far been the hardest.

Two things inspired me to do it, well, prompted me to do it rather, (it’s very in line with how I’ve been living lately): 1) One day I was playing my Switch & had a stream on in the background & realized that I had no idea what was being said in the stream, as in I completely cut it out. I wondered why I put it on in the first place. 2) Last year I watched Portrait de la jeune fille en feu &

while I don’t like the movie at all, there’s this one scene that I’d found really impactful, two actually: In one of the scenes, a young woman says she misses the nunnery because at least at the nunnery there was music. The idea that you would have to go seek out music back in the day was completely foreign to me, in that I’d never considered it because music is just that ubiquitous.

In the other scene, I felt emotionally impacted & could not figure out why, because I did not enjoy the story or its portrayal of romance; it was because it was the only instance of music in an otherwise music-less film. It made me consider how maybe my constant exposure to music was dulling its impact. I think this is part of why we just love to find new songs, because it hasn’t been trampled under our dancing feet

into the ground yet. Beyond that, I suppose I have philosophical or spiritual motivations, but even if you don’t have those, I would really recommend not listening to any music. Even if it’s just for a week. Don’t wear any headphones as you go about your day. No TV or Youtube in the background of your life. No music. & just see how full the world is.

yea i do have to have a lil bit of radio/music going on at work cos itd be awkward without! but fortunately have full aux command there and some time back a customer (older man) told me to turn it down so he could hear while calling some1, which i did ofc, and it made me think to myself "ooh....its better this way actually" so ive just simply been puttin it on quieter... fr i gotta notebook bout all this more deeply