To my best friend..

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Your sense of humor. Whether it's just a simple pun or a ridiculous story that had fucking Blues Clues, Peter Griffin and Bart Simpson (Heh, that was so long ago I can't remember what happened very well), your jokes and bits are always funny, and they always make me smile. It's just my type of humor really, and I love how we can both make each other laugh at our own jokes or stupid things. It's easy to always have fun with you! The way you speak and type also charms me, I love when you drop the "g" in words and replace it with an apostrophe, I love how you use a lot of slang and that even made me learn many slangs I never knew about before. It makes me really happy when you teach me new words! I also like when you use the pet names "pal" and "buddy", it just makes me smile for some reason. Which I guess it's to also say, I adore your mannerisms, your speech patterns. I love the sound of your voice too, I think it sounds cute. (Without the voice changer I meant, I really love your actual voice.) I like listening to you talk, I could absolutely listen to you rant and ramble for ages and I wouldn't complain, it's like music to my ears I suppose. Oh and also I find it so funny when you randomly change the range of your voice sometimes when doing a bit. Anyway, I'm just saying listening to you makes me feel relaxed, I can even fall asleep to listening to you talk, and I have! I like how I can feel comfortable with falling asleep in voice chats with you too, because I don't feel comfortable doing that with anybody else. Just you. I suppose it's because you give me the feeling of safety. Hehe. You know, as much as I love talking to you, I am still just as happy when we sit in silence together. It's peaceful, knowing that you're right there with me and we can still have good times together while we're not speaking. Your presence alone is enough to make me smile so much! I find it quite sweet how much you compliment me. I love when you write paragraphs going into detail on what you love about me, and I also love it so much when you compliment me literally every day. You're very good at writing those, even if you personally find it very easy to do. I admire how you can word what you think and feel onto those types of things, and not even just those paragraphs about me, just in general really. You're quite honest when it comes to your opinions, what you think and feel about certain situations and ideas. I really admire that about you as well.

You've always been by my side through all the good and the bad times, and you've always been there for me when you're able to when I needed you. I can talk about anything knowing that my words will be safe with you, that you won't tell anybody else my personal issues. You listen to me, support me, understand, and talk to me, and give me advice too sometimes. That's one of the reasons why I trust you so much! I know I am safe and can tell you everything about going on with my life, because you're not the type of person to just tell people my issues, and you do genuinely care. I love hanging out with you because you always make it fun! I enjoy it when you make up scenarios and give me options to choose from, when I get to watch you draw (I love watching you draw, it feels nice to watch and I also really like your art style a ton!!), when we do tons of quizzes together, when you come up with random ideas and we suddenly go from talking about something to playing Minecraft, when you find an extremely stupid video to torture me with (It's still fun anyway, because it's with you). And just, well, it's also fun because you're being you. And I love that. Also sometimes we find out something new we didn't know about when we hang out! I love learning new information and stuff together with you. I love how you always cheer me up when I'm feeling low. I love learning things about you I didn't know about before. I love your interests, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes. I love your patience, your honesty with me. I love how I can drop my fake smiles, my fake personalities, and put up a real smile while being my true self when I'm with you! And... I love you for the way you love me! Even though you're obnoxious at times, selfish, sarcastic/snarky, and have a lack of empathy, I still love that because some of those things are apart of what makes you, you! I love your sarcastic/snarky comments and responses, and even when you can be selfish at times! I accept who you are, and no matter what I wouldn't change a single thing about you. Not one thing! I don't want you to be any different from who you are right now. I love what this universe gave me, the person I get to call my best friend. I feel so lucky and happy to have you in my life. I love how that whenever we're hanging out you make my body feel lighter and warm, and that you make my heart feel all fuzzy too. I love the feeling of being whole and complete, and that's only possible when I'm with you! It's youuu who makes it possible for me to feel that way, and it makes me so happy! I even love how being with you also makes everything for me feel peaceful, I feel safe and at ease... and comfortable too. It makes me really happy how well you understand me, how I think, and know me better than anyone else. You really know me better than I know myself.

I don't think I have ever connected with any other person the same way as I have connected with you. I find our friendship to be significantly more special than any other friendship I've ever had. You were just someone in OMORICord who I thought was kinda cool, and now is someone who I cannot for the life of me imagine living my life without with. Hehe, I never would've believed it if someone told me that my other half, my missing piece, the person I love, will appear into my life from meeting on the internet. Well, here we are, and I'm not complaining whatsoever. I love you so so so so much! I'm unable to find the words to describe how much I really do love you. You've helped me so much to be able to grow as a person, and finally able to be motivated to continue living. I love you so much for helping me, and motivating me to keep growing as a person. I would say that you've even saved me, really. I never wanted to get out of bed, I couldn't feel much happiness, I didn't feel enjoyment in doing anything either. Even my hobbies! People I talked to didn't make me feel happy, going outside didn't make me feel anything other than panic and stress, and I started to view things like eating, showering often, cleaning and just basic things I should be doing everyday to healthy and have good hygiene to be tedious and a difficult chore. I only wanted to stay in bed, sleep, and let myself die that way. I was committed to just ending my life soon. But, meeting you changed everything. After that first voice chat we've had with Sunny I felt happy, and energised from interacting with you. It was unusal for me, and I haven't really felt that way after speaking to someone in a long time. I found you to be really fun to be around and really cool, and I was yearning to get to know you more and talk to you more. So, I was getting out of bed more, I was becoming more and more motivated to do stuff like taking care of myself, cleaning, eating better after the more we talked. I was still suicidal, yes. I still was cutting myself, yes. But my desires to kill myself lowered A LOT. I was hesitant everytime I wanted to do it because I wasn't just rotting in my bed 24/7 anymore, I was starting to feel happy, I started to have the experience of feeling complete and whole when being with someone (you), I felt more alive. I kept going, because of you. I'm still here today, because of you. Omori, I know for sure that if you weren't here in my life I wouldn't be alive. I think I myself would know this more than anyone else. I love you for saving me too, I love you for being here. You just being who you are helped me more than anybody else ever could have..

Well.. All of that is why you're my favourite person.

How much I love you

I really want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I wish we could do the things I want to do... I mean, I want to say everything I want to do together, but I'm not sure if everything I want to do you'd want to do with me as well. And that's okay! Despite being shy I'm just gonna say everything anyway because I really want to showcase how much I love you and how much I want to spend my life with you. I want to be with you in real life, and I want to live with you. I don't want to live by myself anymore, I just want to be with my other half. I wish I could move into a place with you, and I wish we could always hang out together, like drawing with each other, watching stupid videos together, taking walks together, reading together, play video games together and even get to experience new games we're looking forward to with each other, maybe bake something together, going shopping and make fun of things we see, being able to celebrate each others Birthdays together, spend Christmas and Halloween together, I want to have conversations with you while being able to actually see you and not behind a screen, and I want to hug you for hours until I fall asleep, I want to receive pets from you everytime you feel proud of me, I want to be able to hold and feel the warmth of your hand whenever I feel stressed or anxious, I want to be there for you when you're sad and I want you to be there for me when I'm sad, I want to be able to buy you gifts of things you want, I want to be able to make plans to hang out with you and see you... Damn it I even just want to experience sleeping at the end of your bed like the dog I am. I just want to experience life with you. I want to grow up with you and continue creating more memories together, both good and bad.

I choose you. I will continue choosing you everyday until the day I die. I will love you forever, and even when forever ends..

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